Realisation Dawning
by MuchFaberryLoveX
Summary: Set after Catching Fire and is my story of what would've happened if the rebels hadn't let the Capitol capture Peeta. Peetniss endgame.


"Katniss, Katniss! Wake up!"

The urgent voice tried to prompt me out of my artificial slumber. My limbs ached and my eyes felt heavy; it must've been the result of my medication which throbbed through my veins. I could feel the catheter in the back of my hand, chugging drugs into my bloodstream at various intervals.

"Is she awake?"

That voice, it made my heart swell and my mind rush all at once. I thought of orange, not bright but darkened amber like the sunset. I thought of running, wildly through the trees and wishing, harder than I've ever wished for anything, to hear his voice. I thought of a dark, damp cave but how myheart was warm and safe inside it. I thought of my head, buried in his chest with his arms holding me tightly, as if he never wanted to let go. I thought of berries, dark toxic purple one which granted us both another chance. I thought of a train, long and silver with polished crystal door handles and enough food to save the masses who were starving back home. I thought of loneliness, confusion and guilt. But most of all, I thought of the beach, the beach with the synthetic and unnaturally blue water stretching across the landscape, and marred only by the giant golden structure of the cornucopia. I thought of the locket he pulled out, and the faces which smiled out at me: Gale, my mother and Prim. I thought of his determination to save me, and his selflessness. I thought of the moment that I realised how much I needed him. I thought of our lips, not acting for the camera but acting for our hearts. His hands were in mine, our faces touching. I thought of how I never wanted to let him go then, in that moment. I thought of how I still don't want to let him go now.

"Katniss, can you hear me?" It was him; it was Peeta; he was alive.

My heavy eyelids were pried apart by my brain, wanting to make sure that my ears weren't playing tricks on me again like they did in the arena with the jabberjays.

A pair of deep brown eyes gazed into mine, melting as they saw my own eyes return the gaze.

"Peeta," I breathed, mythroat dry. He smiled that smile, the one he reserves only for me, and I leant up to kiss him softly. My heartbeat amplified as I felt his lips on mine and returning the kiss, but then then I heard a familiar cough, which made me end the kiss abruptly.

Gale.

Peeta looked equally as awkward as I felt, as he muttered some excuse about needing to tell Haymitch that I was awake and promptly walked out.

I closed my eyes in a woozy fashion to try and pretend that I was asleep, so I wouldn't have to face Gale.

"Catnip, I know you're awake," he said, with a smile in his voice. He was obviously amused at my lame attempt to avoid him.

I still laid perfectly still, hoping he would leave.

"I'm not leaving."

I let out an audible sigh; Gale was really annoying when he knew what I was thinking. I sat up and opened my eyes, but avoided his direct gaze.

"So, you and him are…" he trailed off, obviously not knowing how to define Peeta and I. I didn't blame him, it confused me too. However, his voice had changed from being amused, and the anger and betrayal was barely masked. Again, I didn't blame him. The last time we saw each other, properly, was when he said that we could run for it, live in the woods, and I'd said maybe I could love him if I was away from the fear of the Capitol. I was confused, and nervous. At the time, it was true; I thought that I was in love with Gale, but what I felt with Gale was nothing compared to Peeta. Maybe it was the games, only someone who's been through that with you understands, and after I came back from the first games, something had changed between Gale and I that no amount of hiding and running away in woods could change.

"Gale…I…" I stammered, not knowing what to say. For the first time since he came in, I looked at him… and I was shocked.

His face was dirty and unshaven, his clothes more decrepit than even the usual for mine workers. His eyes were puffy and red as if he'd been crying profusely, but the fury in them was what took me the most by surprise. They were blazing into mine with an anger I had never seen in him before

"Don't worry, Katniss," he spat out, and I flinched at his use of my full name, "I won't be a _complication_ for you anymore."

"No, Gale," I began to explain, or make things better but I couldn't think of anything to make this situation better. He glared at me, the pain blatant in his face, before storming out of the hospital room.

I cried and dazed in and out of sleep for what felt like forever; I was wallowing in my own self-pity. I felt like my mother.

When people came into my room to visit me and see how I was, I refused to talk to them, even to Peeta. They spoke to me, however. They told me what was going on, where I was. They told me that we were in District 13 now, that I'd been unconscious when they lifted me from the arena, that I'd slept the entire way here and Peeta told me he'd never left my side. He explained the plan the rebels had hatched before the games had even begun, and he promised me that he hadn't known either or he would've told me. The thing is, I wasn't always unconscious when I was on the hovercraft, at least not for a minute or so. Evidently Gale hadn't told anyone about him seeing me, but I woke up and he was there. He held my hand and we talked for a little but I don't remember anything that was said, except for him telling me there was no District 12. How could I forget that? No one had mentioned District 12, so I began to think I had just dreamt that conversation, but I was sure no one except Gale would want to tell me anyway as they'd think I would panic and do something wreckless. I felt smug when I thought of this – who was the responsible and mature one who just slipped back into unconscious without going crazy and stabbing someone with a needle? That's right, Katniss Everdeen.

I refused my meals also, but when Peeta brought me a bread bun with cheese layered on the top, I conceded and ate it all. It was smaller and tasted different to the ones he used to bring me, but then I remembered we were in a different District now, and they probably don't use the same produce as us, what with being in hiding and all. He sat on my bed and held my hand, caressing it and staying with me even though we were just sat in silence.

In my head, I tried to figure out the moment it had all changed, when I'd realised that I loved him. Was it when he chucked me that bread years ago? When I would've starved to death, along with my family, but he braved the sharp slap of his mother to throw me the loaves of burnt bread which probably saved our lives. Was it when we held each other in that cave? When I kissed him, was it for the cameras or for myself? Was it at the reading of the Quarter Quell card? When I ran out into the snowy woods, to Haymitch's house to beg him to save Peeta; when I realised I may only have a certain amount of time with him.

Or maybe, it was none of those things. Maybe it was this warmth which had grown within me since I first met him, since my eyes first met his. It has grown forever within me. Now when I see him, the warmth floods my body, from my toes to my fingertips. And now I recognise this as love. I love him. I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with Peeta Mellark.

These were the first words I spoke since the incident with Gale, little over a week ago.

Peeta was sat on the end of my bed, his brow furrowed over his twinkling eyes and his fingers working ceaselessly with a pencil as he sketched a drawing which I couldn't see. The way he took art so seriously fascinated me, and I loved watching him work.

He looked up and caught my gaze, and I blushed at being caught, tearing my eyes away. That aforementioned warmth rushed through me again, taking me by surprise and causing me to blurt out:

"I love you."

My stomach dropped and I stared hard and the floor, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable.

He moved closer to me, I could hear his heartbeat and he took my hand in his and he looked earnestly into my eyes, "I love you too, Katniss."

This was not for the cameras, not for the Capitol, and not for President Snow. This was for us. I couldn't help the smile that broke onto my face, and suddenly his lips were on mine.

Soft and gentle, he put his hand through my hair, my arms wrapping around his neck. It was bliss, until we were interrupted by Prim…

"Katniss?" her voice squeaked, obviously nervous to interrupt us and probably grossed out by the sight of her sister's tongue down a guy's throat, but hey… these things happen.

Peeta didn't share in my slight amusement, as shown by his not so graceful leap off the bed. "Hi, Prim," he smiled innocently, his face as red as a beetroot.

Prim stifled a giggle at his obvious bashfulness. "There's an assembly of people in the square, and they want you8 to go." She must've seen the nerves flicker over my face as she added, "Don't worry, you have a wheelchair. Mum wouldn't let you exert yourself."

"Will there be peacekeepers?" I asked, trying to conceal my panic.

"Katniss, there are no peacekeepers in District 13," Prim said softly.

Of course, I almost forgot.

I'm in District 13.


End file.
